Heavy Rain and the Offer

This dream was total bullshit; I woke up pissed off.

I was checking out an accounting position I had seen on craigslist since I needed a job pretty badly (apparently this takes place before I got my current job, if dreams can be said to "take place" at any time at all).

The interview was at a strange-looking house, quite run-down and covered in vines and moss, though architecturally reminiscent of my grandparents' house in Torrance. An old man with a shaggy greying moustache and lank, unkempt hair answered the door and beckoned me inside. He introduced himself as an inventor and that I'd be doing the books for his invention company which he ran from his garage. He led me through the dingy front hall and into his dimly lit garage which was filled with what looked like complete junk. Springs, old car parts, tanks of compressed gas lay about, and all manner of tubes and ducting spanned the ceiling. There was a thick coating of grease and dust covering nearly every surface and hardly any light. I was very apprehensive immediately.

He led me to a secluded corner where an old wooden desk strewn with papers had been set up with an old green-glass desk lamp and a rudimentary wooden stool. He said that this is where I was to be working and that I'd have to start by sorting out his disorganized files and starting an account ledger from scratch based upon his notes scribbled on whatever was handy at the time and filed haphazardly in a heap on the desk.

At this point I decided to ask about compensation, since the job seemed completely awful. The old man seemed conflicted at first, but then he came out with it in a rush. He wanted me to work pro bono until something "revolutionary" he was working on came to fruition, then I would get a stake in the profits going forward. I immediately waved him off, as I was dead broke and needed something, anything that would pay my rent. He asked me to stay, and when I refused he said that I "lacked vision". I apologized and asked him to show me the door, when he offered me the job one final time. I refused again, and he sighed with regret. "Suit yourself" he said, as he opened a door in the wall of the garage I hadn't noticed before and waved me through.

Through the door lay an opulently decorated mansion, with brightly colored and gilded Louis XV chairs and sofas, gold-leaf wallpapers, and intricate oriental rugs. On the chairs were impeccably dressed young men and women, all eating and drinking, laughing and carousing.

I turned to the old man, and, to my surprise, he had been transformed. His dingy clothing had been replaced by a finely tailored three-piece suit, and his hair and moustache were neatly trimmed and waxed. I asked what was going on, and he replied: "This is what you could've been a part of had you only the vision. These young men and women are my apprentices and with them I share my fortune and my inventions. I was hoping you would join my team, but you have failed the test, and now you must leave, never to return."

He ushered me across the room, through ornately carved double doors into an enormous marble-floored ballroom. More well dressed people were dancing to a string quartet and drinking punch, laughing all the while. The old man pushed me onward, toward the opposite end of the room where a small servants door awaited me. He opened it perfunctorily and shoved me out into the rainy night, slamming it behind me. The door seemed to disappear into the brick wall of the mansion. It was pouring down rain and I was already soaked.

I was no longer in Portland; I was in Eastern Europe somewhere, looking through the downpour into a city square with trolleys running through it. Out of the rain, a black-cloaked figure ran toward me, waving a hand gloved in black lace. When the advancing figure finally pulled back her cowl I realized it was Jamie. She had heard from mom about my job interview and, because of the rain, she had come to pick me up. I told her about what had happened to which she replied: "That's fucking bullshit, bro." We ran to the nearest trolley and climbed in out of the rain. Then I woke up.